moving right along and growing

"With living history farms race in the past, now I am not sure as to what direction to take.  It was the last run scheduled and I am feeling a bit lost as to the upcoming goals for 2011.   This last year has been the first year that I have set goals for the whole year and met them.  This race has been the first of the year that I got the blues afterwards.
I have many projects and areas of life to work on so there is no boredom or shortage of things to do of which I am immensely thankful for. I am not however very good at scheduling my time well.   I love when limitations or circumstance or someone else will give me some peramiters to work within.
Its one of the reasons I love barefoot running so much.  It gives you instant feedback and clear limitations and yet a sense of freedom at the same time."

  This was written a couple of days ago.  Since then I have embraced the rest I needed to take and both my ankle and some nerve tweakage I was feeling are healing up nicely.  I am also signed up for the Des Moines Marthon on October 16th 2011!!  I was to have a free entry to the 2010 marathon since I was a NUUN vendor but since I had already signed up, I was instead given entry for next year.  I am now on the way to making some goals for 2011 and the post race blues have disappeared!

 My dear one and I have been going through the house rearranging and sorting and giving what we don't need away.  I have taken boxes of books and bags filled with clothing to the DAV.  I am giving away running gear on the blog all the while being thankful to be frustrated with so much excess instead of stressed about not having enough.  We are trying to make the house efficient at accommodating my family over the long Iowa winter.  Letting go, rearranging, giving, and then relaxing and having time to just be together.  Its a good life I lead.

  I have been working on letting go of what was no longer working for me for the last couple of years.  Its not just about stuff just as taking off your shoes is not all that barefoot running is.  I have been changing my mind.  Letting go of preconceived notions about how things are to be done. I have been letting go of people that bring me down and do not support my endeavors and especially those that have tried to take away what I love the most.  I have been letting go of anger and embracing love and giving.  Its all a work in progress and forever ongoing but I am happy.

   Another thing that I have let go of is my name.  It signifies a milestone and embracing growth.  As of this morning, I am now a Hotz.  I have made more progress as a person since being a partner to Jaymon.  We raise children together. We share our lives and he is the source of so much perspective that I have adopted as my own.  It signifies growing up.  I have found a life partner and am raising children.  I am no longer a child myself and I choose to signify that by having a name that represents who I am now.  I am  now Angela Bee Hotz.  Not new, just better.

   More change will happen in terms of my schedule in the near future.   I found out last week that my 2nd spawn Jupiter, who has autism and is non verbal, was just accepted into a remedial program with The Homestead.  This is the program we came here for over three years ago.  He is now in the school we wanted for him and he will start intense ABA therapy in the coming weeks.   I am so excited for him!  Most people that have tried to work with Jupiter have failed to keep him motivated to work and he is able to derail and will even use aggression towards himself and others to get out of it.  It has to be fun and he has to want to do it.   It seems that The Homestead understands and embraces that concept.

   Now that running is not as big of a focus with races finished for a while I am looking to my house and family as winter draws near.  I am planning for the spring and thinking about this year and what worked and what didn't and what I want to change for next year.  Its a balancing act.  A fat ass race sure would be fun, now why did that just pop into my head??  :)

As I sit and type this with it raining and cold outside and thinking that I probably should be packing for our road trip to Kansas I am thankful for the water I used to make coffee and water my plants.  For the food and family we will see tomorrow.  For wood in the fire that we will roast marshmallows over at the family get together.  For my sweet ride that hauls my boys and I around in.  For things to give away and for the things that I hold dear. For a strong healthy body to run and food to nourish it.  I am thankful for so much the list could go on and on.

Have a wonderful holiday my friends.