Problems of the heart

  I have been having chest pain off and on since February.  I was treated for an ulcer and bacterial infection.  I have had numerous panic attacks and fatigue.   I don't deal with stress well.  I love to run so sometimes it balances out.
Yesterday (Aug, 1st) I did a stress test at Iowa Health Center.   They let me go home afterwards so it was a good sign.   Today (August 2nd) I get the results back from my rather shocked primary care doctor.  He is dumbfounded as to why a 34 year old runner who is not overweight and no longer smokes is in need of being referred to a cardiologist.
I cried a bit.  Jaymon talked to me for a while and I felt better.  He took the kids to Altoona for Jupiter's therapy and to hang at the wonderfully air conditioned library with the littlest spawn.
I took an anti-anxiety pill and am now listening to music and writing this waiting for 2:00 to get here.   I must say that I do cherish the moments of intense appreciation of my life.  The key word there is intense.  I need to move away from intensity of which usually translates into high stress loads all. the. time.   Oh I would have to count the years I have been saying that on my fingers and my toes.

  Is this Karma catching up to me?  I have been cruel and unkind to my body for years and I knew it.  I grew up in a household where we ate pretty crappy and everyone was overweight.  I would then take pills to loose the weight.  Smoked for years. Did drugs. Ate fast food and gas station food far to often.  Relying on intensity and instant gratification to get me through the day without having to be honest and look at myself then make decisions to improve my life.  I just kept running away and trying bandaid solutions.

  If it were not for Jaymon, my superhero, I would still be smoking and lying and spending money and constantly trying to run away from myself. 
I found running. 
I found barefoot running.
I found friends of which also love running. 
Now I may not have the running for a while. we shall see.
research. thats whats next.  and staying calm. Music is helping.
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 On a barefoot running note,
MissZippy recently asked me about my coaching and I was telling her about the beauty of the squat. 
Here is her post dedicated to the squat!

This is what I have to say about the squat.
The squat works on balance in that it positions the body's center of mass over the ball of your foot and will get you in touch with where you want to land when running.  The goal is to get your heel down to the ground while keeping your weight over the ball of your foot.  This is not easy for most people who have been in shoes their whole lives and who don't squat down regularly.  When you run barefoot you want to let your heel touch the ground gently in order to distribute the force over a larger surface area so the heel will want to touch down in the squat to practice for running.

The squat will improve your range of motion in your ankles, knees, hips, and spine and will stretch tendons, muscles, and ligaments.The three areas to work on are Posture, Rhythm, and Relax.  The squat will improve your posture and will also get you in touch with the ball of your foot which will lead into working on rhythm since your rhythm drills are jumping drills and you will land on the ball of your foot with your heel kissing the ground right after.
 The walk, squat, jump, run are the milestones to meet to get to barefoot running and the foundation of my coaching with emphasis and a mantra of  Posture, Rhythm, Relax. 
It can all be read about  by Checking out Lee Saxby's eBook Proprioception: Making sense of barefoot running.