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Sunday, August 12, 2012
Acceptance
I have not accepted that I will have the same struggles forever nor do I accept that I somehow am not responsible for any predicament I might find myself in. I have however decided to accept that this is how things are today and I will make my decisions accordingly. I have to go with the flow and be ok with it.
The acceptance phase comes in its own times as do all the phases of grief. And with all phases they can backtrack and repeat themselves. Grief of any kind no matter how big or small move this way. Knowing what to expect and how to recognize the phases is very helpful, but no matter the amount of understanding, the phases come and must be endured with the intent of coming out a wiser person at the end of the day.
Everyday I will feel a twinge of resentment or anger and everyday I must let it go and accept that yes, it feels like a real shit deal I was handed, but it's my choice to be and spread happiness. I also accept help when I need it and accept that I am a clever girl with a fair amount of tenacity. I have a solid support system and I am so much more than some wonky health issues.
I accept with gratitude that the last two days and nights have been pretty great!
You're a strong lady and I know that you will handle this with grace. I also know we will all learn from your grace.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you!